My brain's contents are as follows:

buttcramps:

simple tips to gain my friendship

  • have a dog
  • show me pictures of your dog
  • invite me over to pet your dog
  • be a dog
  • dog

raging-woodcock:

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

We should probably call the police who knows how long it’s been in the river.

officialwhitegirls:

getting sweet good night texts from your friends <3 <3 

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masturbation-is-illegal:

marielovesgroban:

Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.

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baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

egberts:

burrito-john:

egberts:

youre not friends if you havent pooped at each others houses

but what if the friend is across the country or in another country?

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goldenclitoris:

there is nothing I don’t like about this gif

goldenclitoris:

there is nothing I don’t like about this gif